Day Two

Given how much I wrote for the belated “Day One,” today’s post will be significantly shorter.  Hopefully.  You never know, I do love run-on sentences.

To start… ten likes, and ten dislikes.  Here we go:

LIKES:

1.       Bernie Sanders – For all the reasons. 

2.       Vinyl Records – they remind me of my Dad, who has a very impressive collection that I’ve always lusted after.

3.       Knitting – I’m not a pro by any means.  My BGF taught me to cast on and the basic knit and purl stitches more than ten years ago.  Most of my projects are scarves or square washcloths.  But damn if I don’t thoroughly enjoy myself with needles and yarn between my fingers.

4.       Board Games – holy-fucking-fun, Batman!  I had no idea the world of board gaming was as big as it is until I met my boyfriend, whose collection spans a bookcase that is taller and wider than your average bear.  As a kid I thought Life, Sorry!, Uno, and Monopoly were fun – I had no clue what was fun, apparently.  Board games are the BEST. 

5.       The radio – I think the radio has psychic capabilities, especially stations that you have a deep connection to.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been a crying mess when THE PERFECT SONG comes on the radio to soothe me. 

6.       Pennies – I believe that the random pennies I find on the ground are signs of love from my grandmother that has passed on.  You can call me crazy or roll your eyes, but I will always stop to pick up every penny I find and I will always feel better after finding one on a shitty day.

7.       Marijuana – I think it is a miracle plant.  I think it so much more good than it is bad.  I think it is the safest and healthiest alternative to most pharmaceuticals in existence.  I think the stigma against people who use it needs to end, like, yesterday.  It has enriched and improved my life in countless ways.

8.       The state of Michigan – I love where I’m from.  I love our lakes, beaches, our forests, our cities, our sports teams, and our history.  I love our beer, I love using my hand as a map, and I love being a Michigangster.

9.       Podcasts – What would I do without podcasts?  My commutes would be even harder to get through, that’s for sure.  I love anything Kevin Smith touches.  I love the Nerdist, Marc Maron’s WTF, Stuff You Should Know, Ear Biscuits, and many, many others.  Got a recommendation?  I need to know NOW.

10.   Coconut Oil – seriously, the stuff is fucking amazing, I don’t think I even need to explain why.

DISLIKES

1.       Birds – they’ve just always freaked the shit outta me, it really doesn’t go beyond that.

2.       Bees – same with birds, but with the added fear of potentially getting stung.  Lately there have been bees hanging out in the garage where I run on a treadmill, which may have me running faster but it’s to the beat of, “pleaseleavemealone, pleaseleavemealone, PLEASELEAVEMEALONE!”

3.       Odd numbers – Not all odd numbers, anything divisible by five is okay.  But really, I prefer even.

4.       Pinched nerves – I have a knack for this happening while I’m sleeping.  Seriously, I get them constantly.  Nothing dampers a mood quite like a pinched nerve.

5.       Excuses – Especially being on the receiving end of one.

6.       Being stuck in traffic – something I need to learn to deal with, as I’m a commuter and this is just something that will always happen.  It’s also why I always have more than half a tank of gas at any given time, just in case.

7.       Bananas – the first food I discovered I disliked.  I spit back a bite my mom had offered me of hers, right into her face.  I don’t know how old I was but I know I was sitting in a high chair.

8.       Grape flavored products – It tastes like purple, not grape.  Gross.

9.       The Kardashians – I really hope an explanation isn’t needed here.

10.   Ignorance – the world’s biggest problem.

MY FIRST LOVE

Fuck.  This is not my favorite topic.  Not because I regret it, because I don’t.  More because what I remember the person to be like is not how they are today.  They’re no longer a part of my life anymore for a variety of reasons, but the time I did spend with them absolutely made an impression on the person I am today. 

I wish I could still think of them fondly but they have become someone that I have a hard time respecting.  I don’t agree with how they treat people they claim to love, people that genuinely care for them.  I think they have squandered a lot over the years; there have been a lot of missed opportunities for greatness in their life.  I don’t know, perhaps I’m being judgmental, but this is how I feel about this person. 

Meeting them and the time we spent together brought a lot of other influential things into my life, for which I AM very grateful for.  But today, it makes my heart hurt to think about how I used to know them.

HOW HAVE I CHANGED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS

Oh, internet… if you only knew.  Two years ago, September 2013, I was in a much different place than I am right now.  I was forty pounds heavier.  I was at the tail end of a long term relationship that was long overdue for its finale.  I was unhappy with work, with school, and with the anxiety and depression that had plagued me for years.  My BGF had just moved out of state and I felt like a hole was left in her absence in my day-to-day life.

Today I am healthier, happier, and content with the direction my life has taken.  I spent over a year living by myself in my own apartment – an experience I think everyone should have at least once in their life.  My heart healed itself once again after my long-term relationship ended; when I reentered the dating world I did so as a smarter and more emotionally aware woman that was finally able to stand up and defend what I REALLY wanted out of life.  And I found someone absolutely wonderful that wants the same things out of life that I do – he has made life so much sweeter and so incredibly satisfying. 

My BGF has moved back to our home state, but it's not permanent and she's still too far away for daily visits.  But the way we've maintained our friendship over the past two years, despite the long distance and the obligations and responsibilities that come with being an adult (and in her case, a parent), has me feeling all the more grateful to know her and have her in my life.  The older I get the more often I find myself disappointed by the actions of others, which has made me unbelievably thankful for the people in my life who DO love and treat me as I feel I deserve.  She is one of those few people and the past two years have done nothing but strengthen that appreciation.

Every day I’m getting better at finding the silver lining, and at not having meltdowns over things I cannot control.  Anxiety and depression will always be something I’m fighting, but these days my arsenal is so much bigger and I feel more capable in the face of my internal demons. 

MY MIDDLE NAME AND ITS SIGNIFICANCE

It’s Kate.  And really, there’s not much to it.  I have a long, three syllable first name that is fairly unique, you don’t hear it often.  So, my mother didn’t want me to have another long or complicated middle name.  Kate is short, sweet, and fit well with my first name, so that’s what my parents settled on.  I think they even picked it out of a baby book.

And there we go, two days in one.  Even though I’m taking this one day at a time, I’m going to hold onto hope that I finish the rest of this challenge on its intended daily basis.

Keep your fingers crossed.

S.